


permanent.

by fouryearslaterdrabbles (CheshireCatLife)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Church of England, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin) and Cleaning, M/M, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 20:00:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17310920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheshireCatLife/pseuds/fouryearslaterdrabbles
Summary: When Levi gets stuck in a small coastal town for the summer, he's determined to do something with it. However when a tall blonde going by the name of Erwin Smith becomes his partner for the summer, he suddenly thinks he's not going to get any work done at all.





	permanent.

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this is another one of my little rom-coms. half of chapter two is written but I'm still not sure if I'm going to finish it but for now, here's chapter one. enjoy.

The sea was calm, waves sloshing gently against the unkempt sand. Like many seaside towns, it was the perfect oddity, the cobbles under his feet slanting him to the side until he the slant felt like the correct axis. Letting the whipping wind throw his hair back in a viscous tantrum, he breathed, his calm fighting against the chaos around him. Behind him, the church stood, it’s old rickety panels flimsy under the winds whims.

His job, for the summer, would be to clean it up. Something to pay the bills, he guessed. All the better for him. Turning, he finally looked up at it, in all it’s crooked cross glory. Although, that may have been the cobbles. The door, far above his height, only a mere five feet anyway, rattled under the pressure but against the odds remained in its rightful place.

Levi felt disappointed at the lack of awe that succumbed to him as sleep had the city. In the early hours of the morning, on an insomnia induced walk, he expected more from the little church by the beach. Even as he saw the sun filter through the beautifully ornate stained-glass windows, he felt nothing but the coarse disappointment.

Then again, he was here for a reason. But, seeing as it was his mother that had invited him in the first place, he was almost definitive that this was not his true duty and only an incentive to pull him to the desolate town on the English coast.

Taking a single step forward, he inspected the dying grass of the graveyard outside, a shiver running down his spine as the names stared back up at him. Brown tufts and limestone distorted the names into mere memory and even through squinted eyes, Levi could not pick up the gentle scripture of many of the family’s names.

Sighing, he threw his head back and let the wind enrapture him again, the whipping a dream to his sensitive ears. In this sleepy haze, he let it become his freedom, the wind taking him away like he had real wings on his back and not a mere tattoo that he had gotten at the mere age of sixteen, a decade ago now.

He shut his eyes and let himself sway, a smile barely creeping up onto his frowning lips. He hadn’t felt this in months. In the pollution induced buzz of the city, even if Paris was more archaic than many, there was no time to let yourself go and his Insomnia Walks were nothing more than pumping anxiety pushing him through hoards of taunters, his mind distorting the humanoid shapes into wicked monsters.

When his eyes finally fluttered open, it was with minimal resistance, the risk of falling asleep on his feet all too high- the sound of the lapping sea only lulling him further into sleep. But, even if he were to return home, he knew sleep would not take him. He had long since cursed his bed and refused it but it was far after it had refused him and the ideal of sleep was a mere memory, just as the curved letters on the crumbling stone graves were.

It was the chime of the bell that threw his body from itself, his skin shuddering at the foreign sound- so delicately booming around the courtyard. Behind him, the sea quieted, as if the rising had people had lulled it to its own sleep. Levi’s eyes swept across the church on finally time with a sigh, the croaking building almost not worth his time.

His first step was like a newborn's, his feet tangling and sending him stumbling into the iron fence. Gripping the rusty, black metal, he pushed himself back to his full height with lost dignity, his eyes darting around the open plain for any sight of laughing spectators. Finding none, he walked again, the natural art that he had twenty-six years to perfect a chore as he tried to recall the map of the town, taking ten minutes longer than he should have to find the little cottage tucked away in the corner of the bustling marketplace.

Pushing through the already teeming stalls, their owners calling out at the gullible customers, Levi withheld the urge to cover his nose and block out the smell and sights of the grotty pathway, mud swept across the dusty cobblestone and the fruit tattered with insect bites and scratches. The cottage itself was in no better state, the entryway smeared with mud and its door covered in deep markings from unknown sources, almost no better than the cat-scratched inside.

He buried into his pocket to find the lone key, one that could have been from medieval times for all its weight, and pushed it into the lock with difficulty, the rusted metal resisting the urge to open, just as the hinges did when he finally found the strength to push it open. How his mother ever did the task was still fascinating.

‘Mum!’ He called at, wincing as he noticed the pile of unpaid bills on the small table that his mother kept her vudu knickknacks and ornaments.

‘Levi! Where the hell have you been?!’ Kuchel rushed in, her hair a birds nest on her head, the loose bun lopsided and roughly formed and for once Levi was glad that black hair was common in their family and he couldn’t see the layers of grease in her hair. Dear god, she was almost as bad as Hanji.

‘Out. I’m fine.’ He defended, his signature scowl forming deeper lines in the pale pallor they both shared. In fact, their appearances were almost identical if it weren’t for the difference in gender. Levi was glad, if he had looked like his father, he knew the ghost would haunt him day and night.

‘You can’t just do that at four am! I worry about you. What were you doing anyway?’ She scowled, crossing her arms over her chest and perfecting the art of her ‘single mother glare’ which, according to her, was the most terrifying of them all. If anything, it hadn’t put Levi’s behaviour in order but rather he had picked up the trait and from there his frown was born.

‘I was just looking around the town.’

‘You left you mother for five hours without telling her you were leaving just to look around the town?’ Levi swallowed, the nerves finally setting in as he watched his mother seeth, her white face burning red. Levi was always a child known for insolence but they had made a promise long ago that as long as she knew he was safe, it was okay.

Glancing at the grandfather clock, the arms barely hanging onto the small golden circle of the centre and found his mistake. Yes, he had been right when he’d left: 4am. But, his fatal mistake would be his downfall. It was not 6am but 9am, the sun rising later in the deepest parts of winter and despite the weather not matching the time of year, a freak heat wave sweeping over the country, that did not change the times in which the sun awoke and the moon fell asleep.

‘Mum, I’m sorry but I’m twenty-six now. You shouldn’t be worrying about me.’ He complained, trying to find any way in which to trick his mother into letting him off the hook. But, of course, like the rest of the years he had been alive, that could never have been the case.

‘Levi Ackerman! How dare you say that! I am your mother. You cannot just tell me to stop worrying!’ She took a deep breath, letting out a ragged puff of air as she spoke again. ‘Nowadays, all you have to do is send a text. I know that you have trouble sleeping but that is no excuse for leaving without a word. You know I get up early too, you shouldn’t be worried about waking me up and telling me. Or at least leave a note for God’s sake!’ She stared him down, grey meeting grey, sunken eyes a pair in the flickering light of the candle (it saved money, his mother claimed).

‘Sorry, I’ll try to next time.’ He sighed, quickly slipping his shoes off and placing them in perfect line with the door, the black soles weathered with years worth of wear.

‘You’re not going to just try, mister.’ She warned, pointing a vindictive finger before leaving into the kitchen, returning to her usual state of busy-body single mum, despite having a rather comfortable job now and no son to look after- or so Levi had thought.

Wincing at each step, the dust exploding underneath his feet, he made his plan for the day. If it was nine am now then it was too late for breakfast; he would clean now, eat at lunch, finish cleaning and then head out once again to finally meet the church’s priest, who would give him his job description before he started.

The creaking stairs invited him back as he trudged up them and into his bedroom, the only clean place in the house he would assure you. Something of it was militaristic, the perfectly polished shoes lining the wall, the laces even neatly tucked in, whilst each and every surface was cleaned and dusted to perfection, making even the ragged old furniture glisten under the shimmering light fixture. Not that it was all that much; the small chandelier in the centre of his room was barely a chandelier at all but being the only light in the house that seemed to get any use, his mother had deemed that it was worth the effort of making it extravagant. If only to brighten up the room a little, she had argued.

Levi scowled at it, the fake crystals dangling off of it tauntingly. It was too girly for his tastes, in all honesty, but he didn't have the heart to tell his mother that he both didn't want a chandelier or one that looked like that- insulting her care and her taste. Although, in private, Levi would readily admit that his mother's taste was awful.

After a quick shower, in which he had cleaned the shower as well as himself, he got dressed into warmer clothing, admitting that even in the freakish heat that the cold was enough to bite through his clothing. And then, as most of his day's started, he began to clean.

Bandana slung around his mouth, his slightly too-long hair tied back- hanging loosely over his nape- with a rubber band and hands clad in bright yellow washing up gloves that his mother had given him for Christmas and his birthday the year before, back when he was living in Paris, he began his work. Moving outwards in, he began in the entryway, worked through the living room- which barely fit a sofa in it- the cramped kitchen and his mother's bedroom before making his way up the stairs and through his bedroom and their shared bathroom, easily throwing away the empty bottles that his mother claimed to make the bathroom brighter in favour of the pristine white and blue that the walls and surfaces were meant to be.

In record time, he was finished, the clock barely pointing past the twelve mark when he grabbed last night's dinner from the fridge and went to sit on the sofa. Much to his dismay, his mother had replaced the dining room with her bedroom, pushing him into the upstairs bedroom. He didn't understand why she couldn't have put him on the sofa, at least then he could eat with some etiquette. His trip to England wasn't going to be long, either. The church, his mother had claimed, would take barely two weeks to clean and then he was free to do as he pleased.

Although he was renting it out, he still owned his Paris apartment and could go back any time he wanted. But, he could only guess that his mother was planning on a longer stay. Especially if she had the audacity to clear out a whole room of her house, one that he found essential, in favour of giving him a bedroom. A larger one than hers, in fact.

His only frightfully prominent question was why his mother had brought him all the way to England for a church. Levi, a good cleaner, was happy to clear out any space but to take a two hour plane journey over, just to take the only real bedroom in the house felt like overkill.

Levi had been raised in England, in this very town, but it didn’t mean in any way that he was inclined to return. The memory of the rackety town came alongside a bored childhood and an even worse teenagehood of smoking and, although he couldn’t find himself regretting this one, tattoo-getting just to stave the impending boredom of the bland town and its religious inhabitants.

Paris had been a good city for him, full of culture, a good nightlife and friends- even if few. Hanji, Isabel and Farlan had said goodbye to him with an exaggerated hug and a scream of ‘we’ll miss you!’ and now that Levi thought of it, they did sound a bit like he wasn’t only going for two weeks. He certainly hadn’t got the return tickets to Paris yet but he was planning to.

So what was his mother planning?

Eating his meal steadily, he let his mind slip away into the possibilities. He’d go to see the church again soon, hoping that it may be slightly less archaic in the daylight- the detriment of it almost pulled at his heart. It was no place to worship, even if he himself was no believer in a greater power. Too much crap in his life for that.

Kuchel’s cat, a black, furry thing that had no hesitation in shedding everywhere- much to Levi’s disgust- began to twirl itself around Levi’s leg, purring delightfully. Levi scowled at it but it only spurred it on to continue, digging its claws into Levi’s black jeans, picking at the denim, leaving small patches of broken fabric.

‘Get off, Titan! You stupid little thing.’ He muttered, he’d never like cats. And yes, the cat was called Titan. And by no accident. The cat was enormous. Even when they’d first got the bugger when Levi was a teenager, he’d been far too big for a kitten. His mother doted on him, though, and for that Levi could not blame her- with a son that was close enough to being a runaway, she’d needed some company. She’d been single for years and she looked like she was making no attempts to change that, even though she was still rather young (she’d had Levi as a teenager).

He didn’t even let himself rest before he washed the dishes, immediately feeling the urge to rub the grime of the old china plates, relishing in his soapy hands and the run of the tap (his mother kept on saying his cleaning was using up too much water but it was for a good cause, or so he thought).

He dressed himself appropriately as he could muster for a church, his ripped jeans replaced by intact ones and his t-shirt filled in by a neat, albeit untucked, white shirt- ironed and everything, Levi had a certain distaste for wrinkled clothes.

Plugging his earphones in, he shouted a goodbye to his mother, who was doing god knows what in her room, not waiting for a reply as he turned up the volume and walked down the streets. The quiet strum of guitar calmed him as he walked down the riling streets, the vendors still shouting hours later and the early morning dwellers replaced with panicked parents, young children crying at their arms, and coffee-holding- and obnoxious- students.

Levi would like to forget his student days, even if the debt still caused severe detriment to his bank account. It wasn’t as if his mother had any money to help him out. Even with a job, she was paying huge amounts in bills. For such a small town, it was an expensive area- high-end and pompous.

Levi put up with it for the sake of his mother, who’d like to think they were much more middle-class than they really were.

The walk to the church was far shorter than before; thankfully this time he was aware enough to not get lost. Insomnia may have left black circles under his eyes but he was still quite good at remaining awake in the day, even if he was still a grumpy-pants.

It was a Sunday and Levi had to assume that the service had just finished as hordes of village-dwellers dawdled out of the crooked doors. Levi scowled, the rose tattoo on his neck causing the hardcore religious-wacks to avoid him. ‘Just be glad this shirt covers my arms.’ He muttered. The reaction he got when he was sleeveless either gathered awe of disgust.

When he’d been a teenager, he’d been rebellious but careful. He hadn’t gone into the tattoo parlour to get a mistake, he wanted it to be art. It was a freedom for the boring job he had at a mortgage agency, in which he’d worked at the call centre for most of his time. The wings had been his first project and his second tattoo. The first, a small star in the indent of his wrist- one point reaching just slightly further from the rest- a shooting star to represent hope. The wings, a symbol of freedom, covered the expanse of his back and hadn’t taken one session but ten, the detail outstanding. He’d had a trainee do it at a lower fee so he could pay but he’d seen their work, he knew it was going to be perfect the moment he saw the sketches. Ilse, his name was- changed my gender but not my name was their catchphrase- and an iconoclast if Levi had ever seen one. He might have been one of Levi’s first real friends. A village on the coast of South-West England was not a place where there were many teenagers and despite Ilse being a 20 at the time, only four years older than Levi, their age gap finished whenever they talked.

He wondered if she was still here.

After that, his tattoos had been small and meaningful. A rose on his neck to represent his harsh exterior but kindness at core (not his decision but Ilse’s, he’d gone with it). A moon and stars to represent his connection to the night, or that’s what he hoped his insomnia was. It was a lot easier to think of it that way. He liked the night and although he had an aversion to being in it due to its connotations, he could always just stare at the ink-filled sky and smile.

His latest one was at the end of his arm, fitted at the bottom. An emblem, similar to the wings. They overlapped, blue and white, to represent friendship. He was careful not to do them about anyone specific, he knew how bad that could go, but he couldn’t look at the art on his arms and not have something that showed his loyalty to the few friends he’d really had.

Hanji, the mad scientist. Isabel, the adult with the heart of a child. And Farlan, the gentle smile.

He missed them he realised, watching the flood of people abscond him, loneliness creeping in. He had his mother here but he hadn’t been a popular person at school. Well, he’d had Petra. But she…

She died a long time ago.

‘Hey, are you Levi?’ Levi jumped, staring at the tall man in front of him. Okay, first port of call, don’t drool. Six foot of muscle, the man gave Levi a warm grin, his blonde hair scruffy on his head, not quite long enough to obscure his crystal-blue eyes. Okay, maybe they were just blue but damn.

‘Yes. And you?’ Levi did his best not to be brusk and he’d succeeded, to an extent. No sarcastic comments, that was a first.

‘Erwin.’ He held out his hand. ‘I lead the sunday school.’ Levi sighed immediately, shaking the man’s hand- he just had to be religious, didn’t he? Well, so much for finding a boyfriend, it been a couple decades- and yes, he was only in his twenties, that’s the point.

‘Oh god, am I cleaning up after kids?’ Levi found himself shuddering: the mess, the snot, the crayons. They were dastardly things.

Erwin finds himself laughing nonetheless, staring down at this peculiar man. ‘I’m afraid you might be. But don’t worry, I’m here to help.’ Okay, even if there’s like almost no chance they can get together, at least he can stare at him all day. Yes, because that’s so much better. Pining always cheered Levi up. Yes, definitely.

Erwin stared down at him, thick eyebrows furrowing- and yes, they really were huge. ‘Have I seen you before?’

Levi sighed again, he knew it would happen at some point. ‘Yeah, I grew up here.’

‘Oh, I thought I knew you. I haven’t been here too long but I thought I’d seen your face around.’ Erwin smiles blindingly, seriously why did this guy have to be religious? Well, Levi thought, he runs the Sunday school so maybe he can have some hope.

‘I have a question.’ Levi averted the conversation before this guy realised that he’d probably seen Levi’s face around for all the wrong reasons.

‘Go ahead.’ Damn, that smile again.

‘Who signed me up for this?’ Levi didn’t know what other way he could phrase it, he was determined to find out why his mum had dragged him back to this town with all its false cheer. Except, Erwin’s cheer wasn’t false, was it? God dammit, this guy was really getting to him.

‘Your mother, why? Did you not want to? I was talking to her when she came for a service, she isn’t a regular so but she seemed very excited. I told her that it was going to be a whole debacle trying to clean this place up after the Christmas service and suddenly she looked even more thrilled and said that her son, you, would be glad to help. I assumed you were living around here until she came in the next week saying she was preparing for you.’

Levi’s eyebrows furrowed, half zoning out of Erwin’s rambling speech. So his mother had been excited and then...found a way to bring him to England? But whatever for? ‘Did she ever mention why she was excited?’

‘Oh, not at all.’ Great, wasn’t that a dead end if he ever saw one? Still, the confused look on Erwin’s face almost begged for Levi’s attention, dare he say it was cute? He really needed to calm down and compose himself.

‘So, should we get to work?’

‘Of course!’ Erwin led the way, all happy-chappy rambling about his holidays, if anything Levi could see that he was a man that didn’t like silence when in other people’s company. Perks of being a wallflower, he could discern personalities rather easily from just a few mannerisms.

‘So, how come you’re stuck cleaning this place?’ Levi cut in as soon as there was a gap in the conversation, genuinely curious. How did the leader of Sunday school get tasked with cleaning the entire church, which when inside suddenly seemed a lot larger.

‘I offered.’ The man shrugged. ‘Might come in handy later if I need a favour off someone.’ So he was that kinda’ guy.

‘It’s only on Sundays and Thursdays anyway, Thursdays me day off. The other teacher I work with takes over on Thursday; they’re only part time.’

‘You’re a teacher?’

‘Yeah, I work at the local primary school.’ Erwin smiled kindly and suddenly Levi understood, what else could he have been with that genuine cheer and the patience of god- enough so, at least, to work with children.

‘Of course you do.’ Levi muttered. They pushed through the creaking doors of the church and Levi was greeted with exactly what he expected: a grotty church with a few pews and an alter. Clearly a traditional protestant church (plain to a fault), it would be easy to clean but Levi almost pitied those who had to enter on a regular basis.

Well, wasn’t this great; he moved from the beautiful city of Paris to be dumped in his hometown, barely a small village, to clean this dump of a church. At least if it had been an Abbey, he could have complimented it.

The Sunday school, Erwin pointed out, was in the basement as to keep the noisy kids away from the main service. The thick floor meant that noise didn’t appear to travel but Levi grimaced at the thought of trying to pray whilst you could hear the distant scream of children.

Seriously, Erwin, how do you even deal with children.

It was like that time his mother had suggested she’d had another child, around five years ago, she would have been 37 at the time (she was 42 now). Levi had stared, then sputtered, then left with a straight-up: no. His mother had never mentioned it again. Where his hate of children had come from, his mother would never know.

After inspecting the main room of the church, deeming it clean enough to not kill anyone, he was ushered into the basement. ‘We’re starting now.’

‘What?!’ Erwin stared at him incredulously. ‘I mean, um, I know it’s messy but I was just going to tidy up so we could begin on Thursday.’

Levi took one last look at the room: ‘we’re doing it. Now.’ Paint splattered walls, grime covered floors and handprints in the dust left Levi gagging. If he’d thought his mother’s house had been disgusting, he was in for something entirely new. ‘Cleaning products.’ Levi ordered, swiping at a chest of drawers containing colouring supplies, blowing away the string of grey that now hung off his fingers.

Erwin, not looking too happy at being around, complied with a grumble- the first expression Levi had seen from him that represented anything but unwavering happiness. It seems Erwin wasn’t too keen to begin this fiasco yet. But Levi was ready. Not just to clean but to find out as much as he could about this mysteriously happy Erwin.

‘Here. It’s all I could find in the cupboard.’ Erwin was holding a yellow bucket filled with (okay, not filled, this was a dismal collection) various things from bleach to window cleaner. But, nowhere near enough for Levi to get anything done to the extent he needed it to be done.

‘Next time, I’m bringing my own supplies.’

‘Oh, okay. I think I’m beginning to understand why your mother was so adamant about you coming here.’

‘Yeah, no shit.’ Levi grabbed the bucket and began with some dusting, it would be the best he could do with this place in the meantime. ‘So,’ Levi began, beginning with the chest of drawers, staring at Erwin- who looked admittedly lost as Levi entered ‘cleaning mode’. ‘Why run the Sunday school? You religious?’

‘Of course,’ Erwin chuckled; Levi wished he could believe in God just to spite him. ‘I work in a church. The primary school I work at, St Peters, is religious too. My girlfriend, Marie, is rather more devout than I am but I like to think I follow the Christian faith quite well.’ Erwin found another cloth and found a place to dust. Levi gritted his teeth: okay, God, not only did you make him believe in you but you had to give him a fucking girlfriend too. What is this? Make your dream guy and then destroy those dreams. ‘Are you religious?’

‘Oh, fuck no.’ Levi noted that Erwin didn’t flinch at his crude language, well, wasn’t that a start? ‘Too many rules to be broken.’ Levi didn’t think it was appropriate to mention he was gay yet. Most of the village, also known as his mother’s friends, knew anyway and didn’t hold it against him (although he’d got plenty of jokes about being the only gay in the village, the idiots) so there probably was no harm in mentioning it but he was trying to impress Erwin, wasn’t he? Better not be too hasty.

‘Is that why you have tattoos? To break the rules?’ Levi flinched at Erwin’s condescending tone. He knew he meant no harm but Erwin’s patronising tone- although probably developed through his work with kids- make Levi’s temper flare.

Levi scoffed. ‘There’s no law against tattoos. I got them because it’s art. Just like you probably decorate your house, I decorate my skin.’

Erwin looked at him blankly. ‘I never thought of it that way.’

‘Many people don’t.’ Levi got back to work, forgoing any further questions until he realised he’d done enough for the day and led Erwin himself this time back out of the building. The clock in the entranceway of the church read three o’clock, he was making good time.

‘So I’ll see you on Thursday?’ Erwin spoke conservatively, something alone that made Levi’s blood boil. If he couldn’t go out with the bloody guy, could he not at least be a friend? This small talk was grating him.

‘Of course. Today was, um, nice.’ No it wasn’t.

‘We cleaned for two hours.’

‘I like cleaning.’

‘So I’ve noticed.’

‘See you on Thursday, Erwin.’

‘I’ll see you then...Levi.’ Levi had no understand as to why Erwin sounded so hesitant to say his name but he let it go in favour of running off down the cobbled streets and back home to where his mother was waiting.

As soon as Levi had jammed the rustic key into the lock again, his mother was there waiting for him, a mixing bowl in his hands and dust caking her calloused hands. She’d done manual labour for many years, she was no foreigner to hard work. ‘Levi! How was it? Did you meet, Erwin?’

‘Yeah, he was nice.’ Levi dismissed, pushing past her and taking off his shoes, tucking them neatly to the side before retiring to the living room, where he fell exhaustedly onto the sofa.

‘What has you so worked up?’ Kuchel stood in the doorway, her eyebrows furrowed, her hand still distantly spinning the wooden spoon in a mixture that was more than finished.

‘Nothing. I’m fine.’

‘I know when my son’s lying.’ She chastised, bustling into the kitchen to get rid of the bowl before joining him, dusting the flour onto her jeans, much to Levi’s dismay. ‘So, tell me.’

‘Why did you really bring me back here, mum? You know I had a good life in Paris. I never fit in here.’

‘Did someone say something mean to you?’ Kuchel’s eyes could turn venomous in an instant, especially at the mention of anyone doing something to spite his son. She may not have a great deal of faith in God but she could certainly pray for the death of his enemies. Sometimes Levi wondered if that was the only reason she claimed to have any faith in the invisible deity anyway.

‘No, mum. I’m serious, I’m fine. I just want to know why I’m here.’

Kuchel took a deep breath, finding no other ways to divert the conversation. ‘In good time, Levi. I can’t tell you, not yet.’

‘What’s so bad that you can’t tell me?’

‘Just be patient.’ Kuchel let a wan smile fall onto her lips. ‘So‘What, he’s handsome! Is there really nothing there?’

‘Nothing available.’ Levi muttered under his breath, folding his arms.

‘Oo‘Mum!’

‘What? He is so a closet case. I know he works in a church and all but really, who cares nowadays?’

‘He has a girlfriend.’ Levi retorted, sick of his mother’s rants about him getting a partner. He’d survived long enough without one- twenty-six years to be exact. Not that he was a virgin, no, not at all but he’d certainly had no relationships. Wasn’t that just more disappointing?

‘Plenty of gay people have a girlfriend when they’re closeted.’

‘Mum, he’s like thirty or something. I don’t, for all I know he’s forty. No one stays in the closet that long.’

‘Well, for one, Hannes came out when he was sixty. And two, he’s religious- we all know they try and keep it under wraps.’

‘One,’ Levi drawled, mimicking his mother. ‘Hannes’ story is completely different. He grew up in a time that you couldn’t be gay and two, Erwin seems perfectly content with his current girlfriend.’

‘Levi!’ His mother threw her arms up in the air, exasperated. ‘Can’t you just have a little hope.’

‘Not when there’s no chance of anything happening.’

‘Oh, of course there is, sweetheart. You just need to draw it out of him.’

‘Okay, mum, I think I’ve heard enough.’ He stood up, ready to resort looking himself in his bedroom just like when he’d first got a tattoo, terrified of his mother’s reaction (which had actually been rather amazed).

‘No, no! Wait! I’ve got dinner ready, I’ll bring it in. And I promise you, no more talk about Erwin.’

‘Thank you.’ Levi sighed with relief, burying himself in the sofa once again and waiting for his mother to bring in the piping hot plate of lasagna.

‘I miss cooking for you, you know.’ She sighed wistfully, taking a large spoonful of the overly-gooey mixture. His mother had a penchant for putting far too much cheese on top.

‘What, so you can make portion sizes for ten?’

‘No,’ she replied unconvincingly, ‘okay, maybe, but I also miss you being around, you know? My little boy.’ She tugged him towards her, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and ruffling his hair.

‘Mum! I’m twenty-six not two!’

‘I know, I know.’ She dismissed him with a wave of her hand, letting him getting back to his food. ‘I just miss you being a kid. You were so cute and grumpy and then your emo phase, oh God, that was so funny.’

‘I have a feeling this is not how you’re supposed to talk to your child.’

‘Of course it is! Embarrassment is a mother’s job.’ She replied insistently. ‘And since you don’t a father to help me, I just have to amp it up two-fold.’

‘You’re relentless.’

‘Oh, I know, sweetie.’ She smiled a sickly sweet smile before cleaning up there dishes, both of them hoovering up the food, and bringing out a small tray of biscuits. ‘The new batch is still in the oven but I made these yesterday.’

Levi smiled, taking a bite. ‘Thanks. You’re back at work tomorrow, right?’

‘Yup. Monday to Friday job now, decent money.’

‘I’m glad.’ Levi smiled at his mum, glad that he didn’t have to look up at her, despite his height-deficiency. She was only 5’3.

‘What do you think you’ll do whilst you’re over here? I know the cleaning pays a bit but it’s only two days a week.’ Levi shrugged at his mother’s worried look, ponderning through the options. ‘I’ve taken unpaid leave from my job at the call centre so I’m gonna need to get some money whilst I’m here. Erwin’ll pay me on Thursday but it isn’t much. I think I might get something part-time, work in the market or something?’

‘That sounds great, just tell me if you need any recommendations or anything. I could put in a word for you at a few places if you’d like?’

‘Thanks but I think I’m all good. I’ll browse around first. They gotta fit my cleanliness standards, right?’

‘Where did you get so fussy, Levi! I feel bad for Erwin, he’s going to have to deal with you!’

‘Oh, shut up.’ His mother just smiled, hitting him playfully on the shoulders, hissing: ‘never’.

*

‘So, how old are you anyway?’ Levi asked, watching as Erwin leant over to clean the back of the chairs, where years worth of dust had ingrained itself into the lines of the wooden frame.

‘Thirty-two.’ Erwin grunted as he leant over the plush armchair that should never have been in reach of a child. Idiot, whoever’s idea that was.

‘Oh, not forty then.’ Levi told himself.

Erwin looked up at him, still leant over the heavy, immovable chair. ‘Huh?’

‘Oh, nevermind.’ Levi tried to hide his blush behind his bangs but to no avail, his hair may have been long now but it was in now shape of form long enough to cover his entire cheek, it barely brushed his cheekbones- although, for a fringe, that was a far too long, he ought to cut it soon.

Levi stared at Erwin, reprimanding himself for being so obvious, but it was almost impossible to turn away. Erwin, whatever god he was, was magnificent. Golden hair contrasting with blue eyes, a dull combination made beautiful by the glorious cheekbones and the curve of his nose, accentuated by the curve of those large fucking eyebrows.

And dear god, he was infatuated, wasn’t he?

But Levi could find no way to shake it off. The man was gorgeous, even if not in the stereotypical sense. Levi, the brooding, mysterious character was a trend nowadays but only had managed to ever attract women. Erwin on the other hand was just another English man, although his stature may have set him apart from the rest. Nothing perfect. Just...beautiful.

Levi sighed wistfully, knowing that he was only doing this to himself. He was not a man who fawned over others but he certainly could understand whether another man was hot or not. He was gay for a reason. But, Erwin, even with so few words exchanged, was something else.

Charming.

In his own little quiet way. Polite, subtle but a man that drew any and everyone’s attention. Levi could see just be looking at him that he was an introvert but seeing him talk to all the church-goers, you would have guessed him to be the most extroverted man you’d ever met.

In the silence of the drafty basement, Levi returned to work. He’d brought his own cart this time, filled to the brim with, what would normally be deemed unnecessary, supplies. Erwin hadn’t said a word, getting on with his work, whistling an upbeat tune as he did so. Even in the tense silence between them, Erwin managed to appear jovial. It was unrelentingly cruel.

Levi, as socially inept as he was, couldn’t start a conversation for his life. Every attempt ended in a quiet end or an awkward statement. The situation was beginning to get dire. They hadn’t talked since Levi had mopped the floor, mopped the walls (they seriously needed it), disinfected each and every crayon and tidied the supplies into the correct drawers so they were easy to find (labelled too, Levi wouldn’t stand for chaos).

‘So...any plans coming up?’ Levi began, biting his lip over how uncoordinated he sounded.

‘Yes, Marie and I are going to dinner at the new fish and chip restaurant on the pier. It’s supposed to be brilliant.’

‘I think I’ve heard about that one.’ No he hadn’t. ‘Tell me about it after.’

‘Will do.’ Erwin smiled and although the conversation had ended, again, Levi’s heart fluttered at his ability to make Erwin smile, even once.

‘So, who's the other teacher? I didn’t know teachers ever got weekdays off.’

‘Oh, not usually. He’s actually a friend of mine, Mike, rather threatening to look at but really good with kids. He looks after his kid at home so only works part-time, I agreed that he could take me slot on Thursday, just seeing how the kids play with him is amazing.’

Levi stared blankly. ‘I don’t think I can ever understand the desire to work with children.’ Erwin’s laugh boomed, echoing throughout the small room. Levi found himself reeling back, his eyes wide in a shock but a smile slowly forming on his face at the fact that he made Erwin laugh. This really was his lucky day.

‘I think you’d be good with kids.’

‘Oh hell no. Don’t make me go near those buggers.’

Erwin chuckled, smiling down at Levi, looking so silly with the brightly colours rainbow cloth in his hand (his mother had gifted it to him just to annoy him). ‘Many kids seem to like the person that likes them least. They’ll grow on you.’

‘I’m not seeing them so they won’t have anything to grow on.’ Levi fought, he most certainly was not going near snot-filled, screaming kids. No, definitely not. Not even for Erwin.

‘Come on, Levi. Just once. I’ll show you what you’re missing out on. Come a bit early on Sunday and meet the kids.’ No, he wouldn’t.

‘Okay.’ Damn it, Erwin, what was this manipulation?

‘Good. I’ll see you there.’ Erwin turned back to his work whilst Levi had to hold himself up against the raised platform, that was sometimes used as a stage when they did anything theatrical, as to not collapse on his jelly-like legs.

Okay, so this had not been what Levi had meant. He’d wanted to get closer to Erwin but that hadn’t meant kids. Nothing should have been able to persuade him to go near kids.

Levi groaned, pushing himself from the flimsy platform and finished today’s work. Already, the small room was looking much better. Levi could only dread what was going to occur to it on Sunday. But, for the most part, he’d been cleaning the main hall.

This would be a job for next Thursday.

He wished he never had to look at it again.

‘I think we’re done for the day.’ Levi announced, tidying up his cleaning supplies, ordering them in the bucket from light to deep clean, the bottles (all of the same brand) orderly and in place. Erwin had learnt his part and handed his own supplies to Levi to be put away. That alone sent a flittering smile over his lips.

‘You know, I really feel like I’m not helping all that much.’ Erwin complained, looking down at the short man who looked so absorbed in perfecting his system.

‘It’s fine. I’m getting paid right?’

‘Oh, of course! For today.’ Erwin buried through his pockets, getting out his wallet and handing Levi a few bills (Levi then followed to roll each one precisely until they were in a perfect role, neatly tucking them into his own pocket).

‘It was...nice seeing you today.’ Levi complimented awkwardly, gripping at the handle of the bucket vehemently, unwilling to release the pressure from his white knuckles.

‘Of course, you too.’ Okay, Levi may have been fishing for compliments to some extent but dear god, Erwin’s compliments made him swoon! On that note, Levi fled, not daring to look back at the gentle smile Erwin was portraying- just like a sculpture, unmoving but aesthetic.

Levi really needed to get over himself.

Dragging the bucket home was no fun task, street vendors stared at the oddly tattooed man with a batch of cleaning supplies in his hand (no doubt thinking he was cleaning up a murder). His mother was helpful enough to open the stuck door for him, ushering him in and taking the cleaning supplies from him, placing them in their own corner, just for them, like a trophy that no one was interested in except for desperate small talk or false charm.

It was only three o’clock and Levi wasn’t in the mood to eat so trudged up to his room, the floorboards creaking under his socked feet. His bed was heaven, the plush duvet swallowing him whole, the pillow dulling his pounding headache.

And he had thought that love wasn’t supposed to hurt.

Oh, no, no, he chastised himself. He did not love Erwin. Maybe just...admired him. From afar. From very, very far. Like miles away far. Across the globe far. Yes, not a blink of interest in him. Just like a piece of artwork, he was good to look at but there was no reason to dwell. Walk past like he was a statue in a museum.

Levi blinked away the picture of his god-like structure.

Okay, so maybe he wasn’t walking straight past.

Heh, straight- you know because he’s straight and Levi’s, you know...not. Well, it had seemed funny at the time.

Chuckling at his own stupidity, he rolled over to grab a book of the nightstand. He was plowing through it quite well, the difficult read not worth his time but one to tick of the bucket list. He had to say something for himself, did he not? Working at a call centre didn’t exactly get many congratulations.

Erwin, on the other hand, must have gotten many. The man not only was hot but was a child-lover. And Levi knew well enough how well-liked they were. Sappy idiots. Children were like the plague, infectious and unwilling to leave you alone, but each to his own, if Erwin was dumb enough to work with them, Levi would let it past.

As long as none of them infected him.

He shuddered.

By now, his eyes had drifted from the small print of the impressively long read, staring at the blank white walls of his room. It dawned on him like a nightmare just what today had brought about. He was going to be working with children. Him. Even if just for a few minutes, Levi did not only think he might murder of one of them but he was sure that at least one of them was going to touch him.

And wasn’t that so much worse?

Levi regretted the decision whole-heartedly but what was he supposed to do, say no? To that face? Not that Erwin was really making any face at all. In fact, Erwin had merely smiled kindly at him, which was far less than he did for most- even mutual acquaintances.

Levi would have to step up his game, yes, very much so. Disappointed in his lack of social prowess, he tried to focus back on the book. It had something about romance, he was sure. For all its faults, the tale of love was rather enticing in this- despite being something Levi usually tried to ignore. This could surely give him a few tips.

Though it was probably best to dress up all Victorian and insult Erwin until he fell in love with him. He was very certain that although some people go from hate to love, the instance was rare and the hate was almost always feigned, an obnoxious and misleading way to flirt.

Levi sighed, he really hadn’t done this had he? Well, he had another option, didn’t he? Get the guy back home and do what he was hoping to do. But, even Levi could see how many holes that plan had.

This guy was religious, straight and...well...nice.

Not that Levi wasn’t nice, he had a tattoo even to represent his hidden kindness but he was in no way blind to the first impression he made nor the rudeness in which he portrayed himself. He liked it that way, though, that’s just how he was. Whether it was a defence mechanism or an attempt to appear matcho didn’t matter. He was who he was; he’d always stood by that.

The bedside lamps (he avoided turning the chandelier on, it was much too bright) illuminated his arms as he traced the tattoos, finally placing the book down. He was far too distracted to read. He traced over the moon and stars on his shoulders, down the winding black swirls until he found the bottom one, the wings: a sign of friendship and loyalty. It was his pride as of recently. The way in which it was drawn almost drew him too it, the design complicated yet simple, that in itself representing what he was.

He didn’t have a tattoo by random. It was chosen for many reasons. And this one, this one was good.

Not that he regretted many of his tattoos but he admitted some were more important than others. Much of his arm contained unimportant swirls of references to events he’d long since moved past, good or bad. And, of course, there was one drunken mistake but that had a value in itself (and, really, the miniaturised Eiffel Tower didn’t look too bad).

Levi finally heaved himself up into sitting, knowing that at some point his mother would like help with cooking. She been working all day, after all. But, relishing in the void of silence for one moment longer, he knew one good thing had come from today: he was going to see Erwin just a little bit longer on Sunday.


End file.
